Let's Play A Game

I said, and then we did.
What happened last night was intense, and amazing, but mostly not mine to talk about. Not yet, anyhow.
Suffice to say that for the part of the evening that was more significant, for me anyway, I was domming.
I would very much like my Pet (although last night he was a Slave) to write about it, but he will do as he sees fit. It's his story to tell, though... I tell you about how my Master ties me up and touches and tortures me, he should get to tell about what happens when his Mistress does the same.

It's all in the mind, isn't it Pet?

After we played like that we switched, like we do, and we fucked, and I'm sorry, rest-of-the-world, but it's going to be a very, very long time till I have sex this good with anybody else.

She's in a mood

Last night was alot of fun. I enjoy glass dildos.
That's not what this is about.

This about the mood I'm in. I'm in a mood to push some boundaries, Pet. I'm in a mood to scare you out of your wits, to play with your mind, to hurt you.
We're growing complacent, Pet.
We're comfortable in our trust, we're so sweet to eachother, we don't want anything to be uncomfortable.
I want you to be uncomfortable. I want you to be stinging and aching and terrified and wanting. I want you to call me Mistress, not because that's how we play the game but because you recognize that I am better than you, that my will is stronger and that the crop is in my hand.
I want you helpless.
I want you to be afraid and in love and I want there to be nothing in your mind but wanting to please me and hoping I don't make you suffer too long.
I want a Slave. I've said it before, but I mean it now.

We're going to play soon.
I'm going to play with you.
Like you
have never
been played with
before.

Munch

Today I stumbled out of bed at 1:oo PM and went to wake my partner. Then we got into the car, stopped for coffee, drove half an hour and wound up at a bowling alley.
We were there for a munch, a meeting of a local BDSM group that doesn't involve play, so much as hanging out, meeting people and talking.
We were a little bit nervous.
When I say a little bit nervous, I mean my parter was so stiff you could have made shingles out of him, and I slipped into Nice Sub mode, staring at the floor and letting him introduce me to people.
Then we'd been introduced. It didn't take long to relax.
We met lifestyle couples, we met people who were there on their own, we met Doms and Dommes and Subs and Switches, and everybody was just really cheerful and friendly happy to see us, ready to assure us that with them, anything goes. They were all a fair amount older, but they were interesting and interested and nice, and it was great just to be around people who made BDSM jokes. The shared sense of humore really brought it around.
They've got a playspace, and their parties are the first Saturday of every month, so in a few weeks you'll be reading about our next little outing.
All in all, what could have been awkward and scary, was relaxed and welcoming... it reminded me, as much as anything, of a Church gathering (well, maybe UU).
Also, my partner won a beautiful glass buttplug/dildo in a free raffle, which was great, and we got free pizza and soda.
I'm happy. Tired as sin, but there are energy beverages to be consumed, and work to be done, and later on tonight, we'll play.

About the Leather

Yesterday my partner and I drove around for hours. Which was fun, in a switching off driving, getting lost but keepin' our spirits up sort of way, and at the end, it all paid off. We found a wonderful little store that sells leather in small pieces, all shapes, all sizes, all different thicknesses and colors and textures. It also sells contact cement, and buckles, and d-rings, and leather needles, and thread. For not-very-much money.
So we bought, and returned, and sat in his room watching first Family Guy and then Blues Brothers, and craftin' toys. Which was fabulous.
Within the next few days, we will have a lovely pair of black leather and deep red faux-fur suspension cuffs, and by the end of last night I had a new collar. My partner made it for me, not as a pledge sort of thing, but mostly because he's the one with the skills to make a nice collar, whereas I've just about got the wherewithall to make suspension cuffs, provided I get to use the contact cement instead of sewing.
Still, being the sort of person I am, I'm glad that my first real collar was made, not bought, and because he is my best friend and my first Scene partner, I'm glad that he was the one to make it.
Last night was generally a very good night. We both had to be up early for our seperate, busy lives this morning, so we made a plan to play early and then smoke a little before bed. I was worried that due to other businesses, this wouldn't happen, but it did.
So, we crafted, and then we played. And by "we played", I mean my master blindfolded me and handcuffed my wrists (very tightly, but I asked for that by slipping my hand out the first time he put them on), and then took the vibrator and tortured me for seriously, like, 7 hours. It was crazy.
And it wasn't 7 hours. Apparently it was only about 15 or 20 minutes, but it felt like forever. It felt like a lifetime of him bringing me to the edge and then backing off and then holding me there but not letting me come so often I lost count, and I was begging for it, just absolutely begging. When I finally came the world flashed white and my body went rigid and I ceased to breath and couldn't open my eyes, and my partner curled around me and gave me something to hold on to as I came down from it, gasping and twitching.
Of course, I wasn't done.
So, I've mentioned before that in addition to my partner's pretty leather cuffs, I have a pair of industrial black-foam and nylong and velcro ones. Recently, when topping (I'll get back to that later), I put them on the legs of a chair in my room, such that the Dom/me, when not topping can sit in the chair and clip the Sub's wrist restraints to the legs, to receive oral sex will still holding the dominant position.
So, once I'd recovered, over we went, and there I knelt, with my head between my partner's knees and my wrists attached to the chair so I was unable to get away, looking up at him, and then he fucked my mouth and it was fabulous.
We used the ring gag. I liked it better outside of the bed... which is to say, I minded the drool much less when I wasn't going to have to sleep in it later that night. I could feel it dripping from my mouth onto my knees, and I didn't mind.
It's difficult to give a good blowjob when one's mouth is held open. You don't have control of your lips, so no suction can occur. The tongue is still free, which is good, but the only real pressure you can put on the cock is with the back of your throat, ie, deepthroating. Which one cannot do at the same time as some other activities, like, say, breathing.
Still, breath control can be managed, and was, and it was worth to hear my Master say "Oh, God, I can't stand it anymore", and feel his hips buck as he came into my mouth, intense and messy and fabulous. There was alot of whiping off of various bits of the anatomy, but it was really worth it.
Then we went back to bed, and my room was freezing so we crawled under the covers, and clean sheets and cuddling and diet coke (my absolute favorite beverage, especially post-sex, ever) and pot and post-scene talking, and then I fell asleep and woke up to say g'night when he left around 5 (so I'm guessing he fell asleep, too), and then I slept more soundly till I had to wake up to be a productive, decent member of vanilla society again.

I'd had a long hard week, and that was exactly what I needed.

Now, to talk about the previous time we played. That was fun! I topped, and I Dommed, and I loved it, because I was relaxed. I knew no coitus would be involved, right from the get go. Actual intercourse is very difficult when I'm topping, because I've pretty much got to be on top, and generally it's harder to control, and just not something that's terribly enjoyable when I'm under pressure to make sure the scene goes well.
So this time, I had another plan. It involved the two new eyehooks, which come down from the bottom of the loft portion of the bed, and are used for elevating one's sub's ankles. Which one does, having first wrapped said ankles in a pair of socks (black for aesthetic value) to protect their tendons.
Good position, this. His legs are elevated, so his hips are rotated such that there is easy, comfortable access to the anus.
So that I can suck him off while I fuck his ass with the buttplug, and keep him from coming until I know he really, really can't stand it anymore, such that he has a shit eating, I-just-came-so-hard-I-killed-brain-cells grin on his face, and I feel like the queen of the world.
Then I tied his wrists to the chair (remember?), and had him pleasure me, but I didnt' find the position that great, so we moved back to the bed.
NB, he likes the vibrator too, but not as much as I do... still, I've not tried inserting it yet. We'll see how that goes, won't we?

Further posts will include: a lesson on our particular anatomies, or "Oh, Gods, Yes, Right There!!", the use of new suspension cuffs or "No, Mistress, My Wrists Are Fine. Yes, Mistress, That Was Lash Number 17. 18! Thank You, Mistress!" and sex in the shower, or "Slip, Thunk OW! No, Don't Stop..."

Good Vibrations

Sorry about the title, kids. I couldn't resist.
So the story of the day is just that. I have a vibrator! It's my first, ever, and I've been wanting one for ages. This one calls itself a black velvet 6 1/2 inch massager, made of "futurotic" material. It's powered by 2 low alkaline (that is to say, no-name brand) C batteries (which are not to be left in it when it's not in use), it has a range of speeds, and apparently it's waterproof.
I have not yet had a chance to use it for myself, but last night my partner and I played with it.
It was the first time in a long time that we'd started a scene on the bed, instead of the sub standing and trying to hold still while the dom did every creative thing in their power to torture them into movement.
So, we started on the bed, which gave the scene a much more relaxed sort of beginning... he didn't walk into the room my Master, he walked in my friend, and we sat on the bed for a few minutes trying to untangle the knots in our bondage rope and then suddenly he handed me the restraints and everything changed.
The scene edged more into fantasy rape than any previously had. My partner started it, by tying my restrained wrists to the eyehook in the ceiling without having undressed me, at all, so that I was kneeling with my arms above my head... and then he pulled up my shirt and unclasped my bra, fondling my breasts. (And talking. We're talking to eachother more and more, during scene, which is great. I love to hear him tell me I am helpless, I love to hear him describe the pleasure he gets out of touching me, of torturing me, of watching me. I love to beg him, and to hear him deny me time and time again, and finally acquiesce. I love to hear him call me Mistress and to hear him call me Pet.)
This position isn't inherently sexy... it's far more dominated, and so I played along, and I struggled with him, pulled away from him and tried to bite him.
I was having a fine time, but I should have warned my partner... I think I almost squicked him. He reminded me of my safeword, but still stopped several times to make sure that I was actually ok. After a while I decided to stop struggling so much, for his mental well being.

I'm going to pause here to point out the significance of this. As my parter and I have played more, and have become more comfortable with eachother, the level of negotiation has decreased fairly dramatically. It used to be that after every scene, when we lay around cuddling, we'd talk, first about the scene, what we'd done, what had worked particularly well, what hadn't, and then since we'd got into the talking mood we'd ramble on, sometimes for hours. Now we pretty much cuddle in silence till he heads off to do work or sleep in his own bed (always appologising. He forgets that the reason I don't kick him out is because I'm nice, not because I want him to stay with me all night). I think this change is a bad change. It probably has to do with the fact of the increased comfort, and also with the fact that we're both busier and as a result more tired, so after an intense scene we're falling asleep... well, he is. That's another funny change. My partner used to be ridiculously awake and perky post-orgasm. Now he's started getting dozy, and I'm staying more awake. In anycase, the long rambling conversations, while very enjoyable, are unnecessary, but I really do think that we should get back into post scene negotiations. Comfort levels shouldn't be pushed if they can't be talked about, y'know?

Anyway. Scene.
So, eventually I stopped struggling as much. My parter was very good about small, creative punishments. Instead of assigning lashes for some unspecified time in the future, when I bit him too much he put the ring gag in and fucked my mouth (and may I just say that watching him watch me as he fucks my helpless mouth is really amazing? Yes, I may. It's my blog. And I do. Totally amazing.) After a while he took it out -- actually, that was when I was struggling alot. I think he got afraid that my body language was serious but I was incapable of using my safeword. Later on, he put the clothespins on my nipples for a while, and he threatened to leave them on until I came if I didn't stop squirming so much.
So, I stopped. That would hurt.
And he tied me down with my ankles apart, and he tied my hands behind my back, but at the back of my head so I could lie down on them, and there I was on my back with my master leaning over me, and I'd stripped naked at this point but he was still in his heavy duty black jeans, looking postivily evil, and I thought, Oh, Fuck, I gave this guy a vibrator and let him tie me down?
It was amazing.
And very, very intense.
He ran the thing over me, up and down, he played with my nipples and my inner thigh, he had me bucking and writhing and pleading with him.
Vibrators? Very intense.
He held it to my clit until I begged him to leave it there just a second longer, and then he pulled it away, shoved it deep inside of me, which is intense in its own right, but bearable, andd then he moved it in and out, gaining speed untill I was pushing my pelvis into his hand, impaling myself on it, and then he slowed it down again, and then he put it to my clit again, and again I begged him to let me come... and again he didn't let me.
These things go in threes. For as long as we've been playing, starting with when we learned eachother's bodies well enough to give eachother really good head, it's always three. Bring them to the brink or orgasm 3 times, and then let the come. I think if he'd left it any longer I'd have died, but after that third tortuouse tease, he let me come. And come. And come, bucking and gasping while he leaned over me and watched my expression, which, of course, made it that much hotter.
Then he fucked me.
Well, actually, then he teased me some more, and then he fucked me, once I begged to have him inside of me again. We started in that same position, with my ankles tied spread-eagled.
This is one of my alltime favorite positions, but it's difficult, and as he hadn't had much actual attention paid to him, we couldn't really swing it, so he untied me and we finished in another one of my favorites (and his too), that is, with my ankles at my shoulders and him on top (or, rather, in front) of me. I love this position. I'm clearly being dominated, but unlike from behind, I can see him, and he can see me, which is great. We're not much for closing our eyes, my partner and I. We look at eachother when we do it -- that's one of my favorite things. Anyhow, I love this position, because it gets him deeper in me than I think any other, without hurting. He can really be balls deep, so I can feel him all the way down, but it doesn't bang my cervix so I feel just fine, and more than fine.
I love watching my Master come in me.

And I've already got plans for my Pet. I have two new eyehooks to mount into the bed, I've got lengths of rope and brand spanking new vibrator, and I'm just aching to see how he'll react when I run it along his hot, hard cock.

(Preview to next entry, there, luvs)

Ok. Now that I've got the eroticism out, there's a bit more rambling that still needs to happen. Recently something happened that almost caused me to quit this blog. It threw into sharp relief how different this lifestyle of mine is from the mainstream. I'm in a happy and loving community where it's pretty much accepted, but that's rare, and I'm lucky for it. There's a reason I keep this blog as totally annonymous as I can. That said, I started this entry out of a sense of duty, and I'm finishing it feeling refreshed. My sex life is my hobby is my relationship with my best friend is a whole huge part of my life, and it's incredibly cathartic to be able to sit down and pour all my thoughts into this blog. I like that my partner reads it, and I like that I have an audience. If I didn't, I don't think I'd actually get this done, and this entry has shown me that it's pretty necessary.

We. Are. Ridiculous.

I had sex yesterday. Surprised, aren't you? Because it's clear to you all from reading this blog that having sex is somethign I do quite seldom.
No.
It had been almost a week. I was on my period, you see, so sex was more or less out of the question.
I was tearing at the walls. Well, actually, I was more or less tearing at my partner. He's got a hicky on his neck from when I pounced him once as soon as the door of his room was closed, and bit his neck until he moaned for me.
Which was great. In a tortuous sort of way.
I'd topped him the way I like to when I'm bleeding, a few days before. Good old fashioned buttplugblowjob, little moaning pet who get's shaky-sleepy afterwards.
Then I sucked him off again, because we'd been snogging watching Rocky Horror and I felt like doing something.
So, yes. It had been a while since he'd topped me.
To tell the truth this wasn't his most effective, but it wasn't his fault. My phone rang three times, and three seperate people pounded on my door. That's enough to ruin an incubus' mood.
Still, it felt good to be subbing again.
My partner and I are both very busy right now, so sex is (somewhat) rarer and certainly more planned. The planned aspect is actually very nice, for two reasons. Number one, we get alot of anticipation pre-scene, and number two, occasionally we find that we've both got an hour at the same time, and have spontaneous, hot, non-scene sex. Which is great.
And speaking of scene vs. non-scene sex, we've started thinking about that a bit. It's impossible to do a full scene every time. There's too much intensity of stimulus, and the domming party seldom gets much sexual enjoyment out of it, because they've got to be on the ball and creative the whole time. So I think we're going to try to do full scenes more occasionally, and plan them out more carefully before hand. Either just the dom/me will plan them, or we'll sit down together and talk them out. Hopefully this will take some of the pressure off of the person in charge, so that we can enjoy the scene as a participant instead of being so carefully in controll.
The flip side of this carefully planned scenework, is that sometimes sex will be basically scene free. As my partner says, it's alot of fun to tie somebody spread eagled to a bed, tease them till they writhe and fuck them senseless. There doesn't need to be anything more than that, and in some ways I think it would be very nice to drop scene while keeping up at least that aspect, so thaht it would be him tying me down (or vice versa) not Master tying down Pet.
Anyhow. The origional point of this entry was to point out that there was once a time when I counted snogging as "getting play", and it was something that happened every few months. Now I get antsy when I've not been fucked properly in a week.
Ridiculous.

(Again, sorry about the rambling entries, but I do keep the blog for myself, not for you horny boys out there. Still, I think Monday or Tuesday I'll be providing you with some nice sordid details, so stay tuned.)