Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Good Vibrations

Sorry about the title, kids. I couldn't resist.
So the story of the day is just that. I have a vibrator! It's my first, ever, and I've been wanting one for ages. This one calls itself a black velvet 6 1/2 inch massager, made of "futurotic" material. It's powered by 2 low alkaline (that is to say, no-name brand) C batteries (which are not to be left in it when it's not in use), it has a range of speeds, and apparently it's waterproof.
I have not yet had a chance to use it for myself, but last night my partner and I played with it.
It was the first time in a long time that we'd started a scene on the bed, instead of the sub standing and trying to hold still while the dom did every creative thing in their power to torture them into movement.
So, we started on the bed, which gave the scene a much more relaxed sort of beginning... he didn't walk into the room my Master, he walked in my friend, and we sat on the bed for a few minutes trying to untangle the knots in our bondage rope and then suddenly he handed me the restraints and everything changed.
The scene edged more into fantasy rape than any previously had. My partner started it, by tying my restrained wrists to the eyehook in the ceiling without having undressed me, at all, so that I was kneeling with my arms above my head... and then he pulled up my shirt and unclasped my bra, fondling my breasts. (And talking. We're talking to eachother more and more, during scene, which is great. I love to hear him tell me I am helpless, I love to hear him describe the pleasure he gets out of touching me, of torturing me, of watching me. I love to beg him, and to hear him deny me time and time again, and finally acquiesce. I love to hear him call me Mistress and to hear him call me Pet.)
This position isn't inherently sexy... it's far more dominated, and so I played along, and I struggled with him, pulled away from him and tried to bite him.
I was having a fine time, but I should have warned my partner... I think I almost squicked him. He reminded me of my safeword, but still stopped several times to make sure that I was actually ok. After a while I decided to stop struggling so much, for his mental well being.

I'm going to pause here to point out the significance of this. As my parter and I have played more, and have become more comfortable with eachother, the level of negotiation has decreased fairly dramatically. It used to be that after every scene, when we lay around cuddling, we'd talk, first about the scene, what we'd done, what had worked particularly well, what hadn't, and then since we'd got into the talking mood we'd ramble on, sometimes for hours. Now we pretty much cuddle in silence till he heads off to do work or sleep in his own bed (always appologising. He forgets that the reason I don't kick him out is because I'm nice, not because I want him to stay with me all night). I think this change is a bad change. It probably has to do with the fact of the increased comfort, and also with the fact that we're both busier and as a result more tired, so after an intense scene we're falling asleep... well, he is. That's another funny change. My partner used to be ridiculously awake and perky post-orgasm. Now he's started getting dozy, and I'm staying more awake. In anycase, the long rambling conversations, while very enjoyable, are unnecessary, but I really do think that we should get back into post scene negotiations. Comfort levels shouldn't be pushed if they can't be talked about, y'know?

Anyway. Scene.
So, eventually I stopped struggling as much. My parter was very good about small, creative punishments. Instead of assigning lashes for some unspecified time in the future, when I bit him too much he put the ring gag in and fucked my mouth (and may I just say that watching him watch me as he fucks my helpless mouth is really amazing? Yes, I may. It's my blog. And I do. Totally amazing.) After a while he took it out -- actually, that was when I was struggling alot. I think he got afraid that my body language was serious but I was incapable of using my safeword. Later on, he put the clothespins on my nipples for a while, and he threatened to leave them on until I came if I didn't stop squirming so much.
So, I stopped. That would hurt.
And he tied me down with my ankles apart, and he tied my hands behind my back, but at the back of my head so I could lie down on them, and there I was on my back with my master leaning over me, and I'd stripped naked at this point but he was still in his heavy duty black jeans, looking postivily evil, and I thought, Oh, Fuck, I gave this guy a vibrator and let him tie me down?
It was amazing.
And very, very intense.
He ran the thing over me, up and down, he played with my nipples and my inner thigh, he had me bucking and writhing and pleading with him.
Vibrators? Very intense.
He held it to my clit until I begged him to leave it there just a second longer, and then he pulled it away, shoved it deep inside of me, which is intense in its own right, but bearable, andd then he moved it in and out, gaining speed untill I was pushing my pelvis into his hand, impaling myself on it, and then he slowed it down again, and then he put it to my clit again, and again I begged him to let me come... and again he didn't let me.
These things go in threes. For as long as we've been playing, starting with when we learned eachother's bodies well enough to give eachother really good head, it's always three. Bring them to the brink or orgasm 3 times, and then let the come. I think if he'd left it any longer I'd have died, but after that third tortuouse tease, he let me come. And come. And come, bucking and gasping while he leaned over me and watched my expression, which, of course, made it that much hotter.
Then he fucked me.
Well, actually, then he teased me some more, and then he fucked me, once I begged to have him inside of me again. We started in that same position, with my ankles tied spread-eagled.
This is one of my alltime favorite positions, but it's difficult, and as he hadn't had much actual attention paid to him, we couldn't really swing it, so he untied me and we finished in another one of my favorites (and his too), that is, with my ankles at my shoulders and him on top (or, rather, in front) of me. I love this position. I'm clearly being dominated, but unlike from behind, I can see him, and he can see me, which is great. We're not much for closing our eyes, my partner and I. We look at eachother when we do it -- that's one of my favorite things. Anyhow, I love this position, because it gets him deeper in me than I think any other, without hurting. He can really be balls deep, so I can feel him all the way down, but it doesn't bang my cervix so I feel just fine, and more than fine.
I love watching my Master come in me.

And I've already got plans for my Pet. I have two new eyehooks to mount into the bed, I've got lengths of rope and brand spanking new vibrator, and I'm just aching to see how he'll react when I run it along his hot, hard cock.

(Preview to next entry, there, luvs)

Ok. Now that I've got the eroticism out, there's a bit more rambling that still needs to happen. Recently something happened that almost caused me to quit this blog. It threw into sharp relief how different this lifestyle of mine is from the mainstream. I'm in a happy and loving community where it's pretty much accepted, but that's rare, and I'm lucky for it. There's a reason I keep this blog as totally annonymous as I can. That said, I started this entry out of a sense of duty, and I'm finishing it feeling refreshed. My sex life is my hobby is my relationship with my best friend is a whole huge part of my life, and it's incredibly cathartic to be able to sit down and pour all my thoughts into this blog. I like that my partner reads it, and I like that I have an audience. If I didn't, I don't think I'd actually get this done, and this entry has shown me that it's pretty necessary.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

intense is good, i think... part of pushing boundaries just a bit, from pleasure into sensory overload and back. fits well with stepping up the d/s part of things, too. there's some line between light bondage and teasing and bdsm, and we've definitely been crossing it a little bit in scene - which leads to the issue of talking. we need to do more of it, both in and out of scene.
basically, yeah. definitely need more rough playing, and i'll see if i can perkify myself next time

11:41 PM  

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