Somehow when I wasn't looking I passed a thousand site hits. WOW!
For those of you who've been quietly passing by and noticing not a lot getting posted, the Boy and I have been busy in the worst sort of way. Our schedules work out all wrong, either we've got too much time together or none at all, and when we've got too much we use it poorly. All of which adds up to not alot of sceneing, but we are both missing it, and we will try to bring it back, if we can.
And I should add, there is definitely stuff going on... it's just that this is a blog about BDSM, and not about the fact that he bought me roses for the first time, or that we are getting well known at the place we go for breakfast once a week, or even the way his face looks when we're tired out and and we've been talking long after we should have stopped and his eyes are starting to get wet.
There's been stuff going on, alright, but this is not the place for it, so I've been keeping pretty silent.
Well. Here are a few things we've been finding:
We love pet play. Adore it. It was something I recognized in myself before I got to be comfortable with it, so it's actually been going on a little while, I just didn't know if I wanted the world to know. We don't go in for bowls and such (well, I don't. He might be a different story), but we've tended to wrap our hands up with vetwrap so they're more like paws, and we wrestle and give scritches and play fetch. I try not to think of it in terms of puppy play or kitty play, but he likes fetch alot, while I prefer to bat at things and get tangled up in rope.
There's something incredibly soothing about letting go of humanity entirely, and just letting somebody take care of you without even having to speak.
Of course, I also miss being completely dominated by somebody elses will, while remaining human. It takes more effort on the part of the Dominant to run a scene like that, more planning and a bigger change in attitude. It's less relaxing, but I think it can be just as rewarding.
Only, if things don't work, it's crippling. One can never fail to toss the ball for one's pet, but one can fail pretty amazingly at doing a good job with shibari or even flogging, or at making a scene like that run smoothly.
And sometimes, we're both animals, and those times are maybe the best times. One or the other of us asserts dominance, closes teeth lightly around the offered throat, growls. We've had sex where niether of us spoke, where it was mate and mate instead of boyfriend and girlfriend or Dom and sub. It's a matter of mood and that's all there is too it, but it's pretty mindblowing when it works out.
Um. We've also been doing some sensory dep stuff, and I'm getting into it. I like being truly blind, no light beneath the edge of the blindfold, nothing. I think it heightens my senses alot, works very well with sensation play. And leaving people alone when in sensory depp mode can be great, but if you've stopped their ears, be
very careful that they hear you when you say you're going away and will be right back. The Boy was just a little too quiet, and instead of hearing that he would be back, I went from being touched to not being touched, with no information as to what was going on. I panicked, called out for him several times, and when he came back (he'd only walked a few feet away from the bed) had him let me out. It's something I'd like to try again, but carefully. It was pretty scary, that time.
We need to do more with shibari, because we both love it. We hadn't used our restraints at all for ages until we did a small scene yesterday. I think we've basically agreed to try and do some shibari stuff outside of scening. When it doesn't work out in-scene, the Dominants confidance is just shattered (well, mine is. Boy's alot better with rope than I am, just yet) and it can ruin the mood entirely. But I do want to get better, and I love rope even, I just need to get more comfortable with it, both being tied up and tying.
I think we need to do scenes with our restraints, and our floggers, but mostly with our words and our minds. We've been trying to advance technically, and have lost alot of our skill with words and with setting up a mood. Used to be, the scene was entirely planned and set up when the submissive arrived, and we always began scenes the same way. The sub would be told to strip and stand, eyes on the floor, while the Dom touched them in all the fun ways they could. If the sub couldn't stay still, they were in trouble. It was amazing to know that I was being held in place by my Master's will alone.
The first time I wrote about BDSM, I described crawling across the floor towards my Master, my restraints dangling from my mouth, knowing that he was going to put them on me and then do terrible things to me. I felt totally at ease, I felt comforted and taken care of, I didn't know what was in store for me but I knew that my Master had it all planned, that he would make me moan and scream and make me happy. I was dominated, I was servile, but I was cared for and taken care of.
That is what we need to get back to. I don't know how we'll accomplish it. But I know we can. I know it might take a little while, I know we're out of practice and we don't know where to start and as finals approach our schedules aren't getting any easier, but I know we care about it, and I know we both need it, so we'll manage it somehow.
We'll get back there. We'll start soon.
I can't wait.
