Saturday, February 17, 2007

Put In My Place

There is a treat at the end of this post.

So, in recent memory, there's been a strong trend toward my being the Dominant party in scenes. Boy started out more dominant (waaaay back when he first turned me on to this stuff), and I more submissive, but his ideology makes that hard. He's still not always comfortable with the fact of himself, a male, dominating and throwing around and fantasy-raping and administering pain to me, a female. And he is getting much more comfortable with his own desire to submit, and I much more comfortable with my own ability to dominate, and so recently, that's how events have tended to turn out.
But I'm a Switch, and until recently I thought of myself as more subby than Dommy, so as much fun as it is to pull him around by his hair and make him kiss my feet, the lack of give-and-take had sort of been getting me down.
So last night we talked about it, and it turns out that his desire to dominate me isn't by any means gone, he just satisfies it in little pieces by being quite dominant every time we have sex. Intercourse tends to translate into Boy fucking me into the mattress. Which I love, but I don't want or need sex to be like that every time, and I do need a chance to really let go and submit. Once this came out, he gave up on any desire he had to sub last night, and decided, instead, to give me what-for.
It was quite a night. I was more far gone into sub-space than I've been in months. He had me on my knees whenever there was waiting, often with his foot on my neck. He dragged me around by my hair and he fucked my mouth, and he hit me very hard with our pretty new flogger, and tied me to a door frame and hit me with the flogger more, and with our horriblewonderful flicker whip, and then he put clothespins all over my breasts, and poked them with a pointy thing we call villanelle (which was the highest level of prolonged, constant pain he has ever put me in, and I was so far gone I couldn't even figure out what he was doing, just that it really fucking hurt and that was good. Bad, but very very good.)
We had been thinking that we needed some sort of predicament situation to really get me into subspace, but it turns out that's not necessarily the case. We just need to play alot fucking harder.
It turns out that, kinkily speaking, we're starting to grow up.
I'm very pleased about last night. It was a pleasure to finally feel really dominated again, and I think finally seeing me really submissive reminded him what he's been missing. I know he didn't give up on girls being tied up and tortured, because he still loves the same old porn as ever. I just think that for a while, I became the girl who let him be submissive, a role he can't take on with anybody else (I wouldn't let him, for one thing), and he forgot that he really likes being able to do nasty, perverted, twisted things to me, too.

A final note: I just realized a change in my possessiveness: Boy always promised that he would not submit to anybody else, and I used to care much less about that. When I was more often submissive, what I really wanted was for my Master to be mine alone. At this point we are starting to get more comfortable with playing in a light way with other people, and I'm comfortable with him being a sort of Dominant-about-the-Play-Party. But nobody touches my Pet exept me. And I think it's the same with him: he likes to see me hitting some lovely girl or tying up some charming boy, but he wouldn't like to see somebody else putting restraints around my wrists.

And I like that. I also like that for Valentine's Day, instead of buying me flowers or candy, he bought me twelve tiny brightly colored mice. They are real rabbit fur (only as biproduct of the food industry, and I eat rabbit so I may as well play with the leftover softness), and are bright green, blue, orange, and pink and the cutest things ever. They are meant for cats. These days, we always peruse the cat-toy section of the grocery store.

The Treat: I am putting an effort into posting more pictures on the blog.
Here, as Frank would say, is One From The Vaults:



I was dressed as a Catholic school girl at the time.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

and many thanks go to the lovely person who took that picture (she knows who she is).
i really enjoyed last night - i need to remember that scenes don't have to be so planned, they can really just be playing. well, at least me playing. you generally writhing and moaning... depends on the toys. :-)
love you, babe
-boy

5:32 PM  
Blogger Goose and Gander said...

Very lovely. Thanks for commenting on our blog. I will be reading yours!
Goose

8:07 PM  

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