Sunday, January 07, 2007

That Seatle Crew

One of the things one comes to learn about the Boy (relatively quickly, actually), is that when he likes something, he researches it. I wouldn't call it obsessive, but I probably should. Part of the reason we got so advanced (not actually advanced, but farther than most people who'vve only been doing it a year or so) in Kink was that we researched. We did our homework. And when I say we, I mean the Boy. He got books and read them, he looked at hardtied and other BDSM porn sites, and used them as much for inspiration as for jerk-fodder. He read blogs.
Twisted Monk, Mistress Mattise, Alex of The Red Sneaker Diaries, Goose and Gander, Nerdy Girl. All of these people, these giants of the altsex blogosphere, are just one tiny little group of friends. An artisan rope maker, a professional domina, and the rest of what amounts, more or less, to their seatlebased polyamory cuddle. One big luvin' swingin' floggin' bindin' riggin' sort of family.
They represent the new face of Kink, in alot of ways. Not the Old Guard bike crew of 50's-80's San Francisco, all gay, very exclusive, not the professional domina-oriented het groups of aroundd the same time, nor yet the slightly sickening web-based, Gore-loving communities that begin to grow up today, but something else entirely. They are all real people, who use the web not to meet people but to publish discussions about actual happenings. They are, indeed, masters of their crafts, but they are young(er), they are hip, and they are the beginning of their kink community, and not the end.
I'm not entirely sure, though, that I want to be like them. I mean, of course I do! They're superstars of blogging, of writing, and of kink, all at once! But I am not ready for polyamory, and it colors much of what is discussed. Every time Monk blogs about Dancer and doesn't mention Tambo, I feel a little tiny ache inside. I don't want that in my life.
Goose and Gander, though, are another story. If I had to grow up into Kink, I'd want to grow up into them. They are married and in love and live life and have kids, and they still play, still like it, and only now, after years, have they taken (as a unit, they, the couple), a new play mate. The Boy and I are looking at that, and I think about the honesty with which they blogged the fear and unsettledness that bringing a third into what had been a duo can bring, and the joy they had in playing with her. The idea of a threesome is of course interesting to me, who was once a bisexual, but the nature of my relationship with the boy is unnecessarily, and sometiems unfortunately, complicated. The idea of adding a third to something I still have a hard time believing really is a duo is scary. It helps to think of it as the pair of us and her, instead of three seperate individuals. Looked at as a set of two and a one, it is an opportunity for the Boy and I to combine our wicked skills to bring another person to extreme pleasure, to take joy from mutual dominance or create positions in which one of us puts our loved one into a situation with another person and can watch the pleasure it creates from the outside. Looked at it as a set of three, it's an opportunity to watch my beloved lover make love to another. And that, of course, hurts.
I don't yet have my thoughts on this Seatle Crew really worked out. I admire them and respect them and in many ways want to be like them, but I also value the importance of certain types of monogomy (emotional, mostly), and the more comforting environment we've found with the group. I am taking bits from both of them in forming the little tiny group the Boy and I run, and I hope, someday, to pick a home and create or meld into the kink community there. And I know, for certain, that I don't want it to be entnirely like what I've read about the Seatle Crew. I also know, for certain, that there are alot of things I would wish to be similar.
I just don't want how we think about kink to be totally overshadowed by one group of perhaps 10 people who live across the country. I want to find our own way, and the compare notes once we've figured out who we are. I got these blogs from the Boy, and I've recently found that they are in my site-history, that I visit Goose and Gander and Twistedmonk and Mistress Matisse's blogs every day. And I'm not entirely sure yet how I feel about that.

Well, partly I am. I may be new, and I may be young, and I may bounce around from Michigan to New York to Connecticut, but if I read their blogs religiously, I think they should do the same for mine!

So. Internet-Scanny Seatle-Based Kinksters. If you stumble across this little gem of sex and love and kink, come back to it. Maybe, just maybe, you'll find that I've got something new to bring to your cuddle, just like your writing has brought new things to my life.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think it's less about the people than about the spirit in which they approach kink and their lives... proficiency, humor, open-heartedness and open-mindedness. polyamory doesn't necessarily go with the territory, and enjoying reading about someone's life, opinions, and experiences doesn't necessarily mean that you'll follow the same path they do.
that said, mmm, rigging.
-B

3:28 AM  
Blogger Goose and Gander said...

I'll say for clarification's sake though, that we don't live in Seattle any more and sadly we didn't know Matisse and Monk when we were there. Its a great city though.

8:18 PM  
Anonymous red said...

I'll pipe in for clarification as well. The Red Sneaker Diaries is by me, Red, and I don't live in Seattle!

Good luck finding your own path, just enjoy the journey and don't worry too much about whether you're doing it "right". What works for you is exactly right for you.

8:34 PM  

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