Thursday, July 06, 2006

My Oh My

This is to sum up to visits that cannot be summed up in words.
Thought 1) I like being hit more than I ever expected to. Twice now my Master has run scenes that were, at least for the majority of them, nonsexual. He chained me up in the doorway and he stood behind me and he hit me with our wonderful improved flogger. Nylon rope, soft, unbraided, with little knots tied in the ends. It's one of my all time favorite sensations. Just the right combination of thunk and sting. And I stand there, strung up, and he hits me till I lose track of time, and it's just bloody fantastic. He hits me softly then he hits me harder then he hits me harder and I'm on the verge of calling yellow when he stops, strokes me with his hands and his lips till my body is ready for the flogger again.
I like that. I like it alot. I like that we can do a scene that doesn't have to end in sex. They usually do, still, but sometimes, like the time above, it almost seems as though there's been a break. We do a scene, and then we have sex. They're not all the same thing. I feel as though this gives us alot of opportunity. There are things one can try with a scene that aren't exactly sexy. They're intense and magical and amazing, but they don't make you want to tear eachother's clothes off. And I'm glad that we're getting to try those things. I'm glad that the exploration hasn't stopped.

2)Another thing that hasn't stopped is the trend towards better sex. I remember at the end of last summer finding that I was having the best sex of my life with the Boy, and thinking, that's great, but we'll plateau sooner or later. We haven't, and recently, possibly because sex is rarer (or, more specifically, because we think of sex as rarer... it's all mental, really) the improvement has been marked and impressive. When the Boy visited me, after we watched the Secretary, we turned out the lights, ripped off eachother clothes and had the best sex we'd ever had. This last time I visited him, the second night I was there, as we were starting I said "we're going to make love", and he proceeded to make perfect, wonderful love to me. He told me later he was trying to be worshipful, and that's how it felt. He kissed me from my head to my toes, literally, and up and down and up again. It was amazing, and odd because it transpires that in worshipping, he felt that he was the submissive in the situation, but in simply lying there and letting him touch me as he would, I felt that I was giving up control almost totally. The sex, when we finally had sex, was amazing. Everything felt so good, so much better than expected. Having him in me was precicely what I wanted out of the universe. It was sweet and hot and totally connected, and I loved him so much then and I was expressing it the only way it could be expressed, with my body.
That, again, was the best sex we'd ever had.
Until the next night. Wearing the restraints, the good old regular ones that I've missed (since we've not had my bed to tie eachother to, we've been using the suspension style ones almost all the time) and the ankle cuffs, with them clipped together, first with me lying on my stomach and my legs and arms arched behind me, later on my back, knees bent and wrists clipped to ankles, and he stroked me till I thought I'd come right then, and then he fucked me. And for the first time ever I counted three seperate, intense, crazy orgasms. I will never again decide that I'm done once I've come once. It was insane. I didn't know I could do that.
In this past week I've had better sex that I would have thought possible a few months ago. Twice.
Still, I think that for emotional reasons alone, the love-making session was better.

3)End thoughts. We're figuring out where we stand, relationship vs. lifestyle, etc. etc. We miss our local group, and are happily planning play parties for the one we started, and every once in a while we look up and I'm wearing my cat ears (if I've not blogged about that, I will) and my heads in his lap and he's petting me, and we look back to when he said things like "finish cleaning off My bed", or when I did the laundry and realize that there's a definite direction these patterns are taking. It's comforting and good, but a little bit scary. I've always been strong and independant, etc. It takes strength to give that up, doncheknow. But that is what we Sub-tending folkes've got. I own the control over me enough to give it up. I give it up because it's mine to give, and I can get it back again.
And besides, he's a fabulous little Master and I'm quite the charming pet, but I can walk up behind him anytime he leans down and have him moaning "Mistressss" in a second.

It all evens out, doncheknow.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

's a good jump from scene sex to scene + sex... a lot of progress and a lot of fun. and pretty fast, too - the (yummy) fantasy in your last post was about hitting as punishment, and it's fun to've moved on to hitting as sensation. along with great sex to better sex. it's all just a lot of fun.

2:15 AM  

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