Monday, May 08, 2006

Things that make me smile

So here I am, doing what I don't have time to do. I've a paper due Thursday (and another bigger one the Thursay after), a huge party to put on tomorrow night, classes aren't done, my parents are visiting Wednesday, Thursday once I've handed in the paper I've got another workshop, Saturday I'm travelling, and the 200 person banquet I'm planning, is, I realize, in two weeks.
Other things I don't have time to do right now? Have sex. But I don't care. I was running a fever of a hundred last night that I'm simply battling down, and I have work and my boy has work, but it's only going to get worse in the next few days, and we haven't had sex for almost three. Which is a long time.
So, Pet, if you're reading this, which you're not, I will fucking beat you down and make you scream tonight, because we both need it so bloody much right now.
I love you, and I'm going to fucking dominate you. So get ready to give up control (which, honestly, I think you could use to do right about now.)
That said, this entry is actually about something else.
I've been reading kink-oriented books and blogs recently (all courtesy of the lovely boy, who sends along links and such at the rate of about five a day).
And I'm just going to come out and say it right now. I love the kink community. I love it. LOVE it. Because by and large, what you find are people who are much better adjusted, more comfortable with them selves, more open to communication and more in tune with what they really want. Which is great. At various shops and munches and parties I've been to, I've met a group of people who are more open, friendly and inviting, with a better sense of humor and a willingness to relax than I've ever found in any unified group, ever before.
And while we are united in our love of kink, that term covers a huge, huge range. My partner and I aren't much into S/M, but we're beginning to explore serious D/s, and we love B&D. We're not into pony play, we haven't done much verbal or any physical humiliation, and I'm fairly certain we will never use blades or needles in any serious way. We like the mind games, we do. But other people do everything from full on suspension to needle play to in-scene peircing to boot blacking to branding to animal play to golden showers, and we all sort of just say, hey, that's cool. I'd love for you to tell me about it sometime, even if I'm not willing to try it myself.
Every truly marginalized sexual practitioner bands together, even if they're nothing alike, at all. (I say truly marginalized because homosexuality is certainly a marginalized sexual practice, but it's a rather different thing).
And what we are outside of kink could be, well anything. I'm reading about Live Action Role Players, and about Bi-Dyke illustrators, and about housewives. And the fact that there are people who probably first met because they were both in the Scene, and now bond over their ripening vegetables, the fact that we love baseball and folk music and motorcycles and swimming. I love the variety of a group of people who are united by something that is, itself, variety.
Which is to say that, perhaps, the thing that unites the kink community, more than anything else, is the attitude. The mutual respect, the humor, the acceptance, the comfort. We're different people, and even within the realm of kink we do very different things, but we've all got that air about us.
And it's fucking fabulous.
So here's to the rope-makers and the toy shop managers, here's to my friend who's so good at shibari, here's to the Masters and the Mistresses and the slaves and the pets, here's to the professionals and to the soccer moms and to the single-tail enthusiasts, here's to you for having the guts to read this, here's to me for having the guts to write it, and here's to my boy, for being the first one to want to tie me down as much as I wanted to be tied down, for every crazy rigging he's ever put up on my fabulous eye-hook festooned bed, for every time he's gotten into my head, for every unexpected orgasm, for every time he's knelt at my feet looking like the sweetest little pet ever grace this good eart, for every time he's whimpered "Missstressss", for every experiment we've ever done together and for eating icecream with me afterwards.

I'm overworked and freaked out and possibly sick, but I just realized that the world is a good place, and about twenty times better because it's full o' kink.

Yay, kink. It makes me smile.


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