Thursday, May 29, 2008

Where's the line?

     In light of Switch's recent escapades with the Irishman (she's still sporting matching bruises on the chest and thighs), as well as the life changes alluded to in her last post, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about play styles and interactions, and what my own personal preferences and peculiarities are.  I've also been thinking about the kind of play that Switch describes, where he did pretty much what he wanted - with safewords and some negotiation - and essentially trusted that it would be OK with her because that's what she signed up for.  My first thought was "I wanna do that."  
     Like she says in her entry, we've always, or almost always structured scenes around the pleasure and desires of the submissive.  I wrote a little while back about wanting to be scary - suffice it to say that this latest round of changes and rethinking has brought that to the fore again.  And I'm really not sure I can just do what I want.  Sure I like pinning a wriggling Switch down and biting her shoulders and fucking her silly, and I really do want to do that most of the time, maybe with a little choking or hitting or poking thrown in.  But I'm not sure if I'd even consider that play anymore.  I likely should, but for whatever reason it's not where my mind has been headed lately.  
     I've been thinking about handcuffs and metal chairs and plastic bags and zipties, about lit cigarettes and knives and water.  And those are somewhat less acceptable, in general, than rough sex taken to a bruising extreme.  I don't even know if the same rules apply.  I don't think trusting that it will be OK is going to be enough.  I might get off on it, but how to make sure that Switch will too?  Because what I'm looking for in scenes might not be specifically carnal, there's not the shared satisfaction of orgasm to guarantee a mutually enjoyable experience.  
     There's really no way around negotiation, in the end, but it's something we'll have to re-learn.  It'd best be soon, though - I have a Switch to fuck up.


Blogger Maja said...

1) You posted this right when I cracked open my RSS reader.

2) You pinged (pung?) the very topic that's been on my mind. Tyr and I do the same thing - favor the submissive in a scene. I'm starting to want to push myself as a bottom and to push him when he bottoms.

What's worked for me this week is declaring the principle that once he's had enough of some kind of pain, I'm going to push him at least a little bit more. It's building a bit more trust (on both our parts) than a general license for a free-for all, and I wouldn't know what to do with such a thing anyway.

But you seem to be talking about the element-of-surprise kind of play. That's trickier. I'll have to think about my potential reactions to that as a bottom before I consider them as a top...

1:53 AM  
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5:44 AM  

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